top of page
Writer's pictureJeeyoon Kim

A courage for the first step

Updated: Feb 1

Last week I went to New York City for recording my next album /si-úm/. After many delays and cancellations due to the pandemic since February 2020 I was finally able to make a trip to the city. Although New York was definitely different with many restrictions, it was still great to feel its positive energy with a hope of getting some normalcy back to our lives with patience.

After 4 days of intense work in a recording studio I finally had to have a free day to relax, so I decided to walk outside, enjoy the beautiful spring weather, and absorb the city. I noticed many cyclists on the roads. Some had a serious look on their faces as if they were in a hurry to get from A to B as typical busy New Yorkers. Others seemed to just enjoy cycling for leisure.


My experience

I thought with excitement: ‘This could be fun! Maybe I should make this to be my new thing to try today’. There is a network called City Bike on which you can grab a bike and park it in any of the hundreds of spots in the city. So I decided to try it, which was an easy decision. As I walked to the bikes, I noticed new thoughts arising. 'What if I have an accident?’ (a valid concern), ‘I don’t know what I am doing with the City Bike system. How do I start? Maybe it is just easier to walk, which I normally do and know exactly how.’ (avoiding trying something unfamiliar), ‘The system is complicated and unfamiliar, I just want to give up.’ (thinking negatively)


I stood in front of the bikes, listening the battle in my head. After a while I got to a point when I could be more neutral about my arising negative thoughts. I felt that I had to fight against my negativity and rise above it. Yes, it is just a bike. It was me wanting to avoid unfamiliarity and a new territory that I never explored.


So I downloaded an app (which took a while), registered (which I wasn’t sure whether it was worth it yet), chose a payment option, and read the instructions on what to do for 5 minutes. I carefully observed and copied what others did, taking a picture of the QR code and unlocking one. I felt excitement growing, ‘You are taking action. Keep it up!’ I unlocked a bike, adjusted a the seat, and decided to go to the Chelsea market which seemed to be fun and I had never tried. I sat on the bike, took a deep breath, and hit the road.


Once I realized that it was so much safer than I anticipated as bike lanes were mostly separated from roads for cars, I felt relief. Those traffic jams in New York also made me feel that going around on a bike was 10 times faster. I was wearing fancy clothes (which were not meant for cycling), but I didn’t care. With the spring breeze on my face I felt liberation, freedom, accomplishment, and joy, which I would have missed if I didn’t make that first step from the initial resistance.


The first step

I realize that I encounter these obstacles of thought much more often in daily life. New things always seem to be complicated. My mind craves to do the things I know and avoid new ways. Yet I also learn that the joy that comes from overcoming any resistance can’t be compared to anything. I am sure I am not alone in this finding. I am curious about your experience of this resistance and how you felt after taking the first step. Please share it with me! I hope that we will get stronger by exercising the muscle of flexible mindset more in our daily lives by taking more first steps into the unknown.


Jeeyoon





10 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page